San Jose student shocks the world

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Bubba sits attentively as his wonderful mind absorbs information at a fascinating rate..

All over the nation there has been word of an extraordinary student at Leland High School in San Jose.

His attributes have changed California’s history and have made national news.

This particular student is ingenious, amiable, and a part of a select number of students in the student council. His intellect has actually made him one of the most groundbreaking minds of his generation. He’s also social and gets along with all walks of life on campus. He is truly a state-of-art.

There is no doubt that this youthful adherent of the Class of 2017 could leave a mark on history and become a contemporary philosopher.

“I’d like to dispel the myth that I may have used up one of my lives recently,” he wrote recently on Facebook. “Still here. Still cool.”

This is one of his most monumental quotes. The meaning of this symphony constructed into English text makes a profound statement. We must live our lives even if it means losing one of them.  In life we will make mistakes, but it’s OK because we’re still here, still cool.

“I am adored by staff and students,” he wrote on Facebook. “The best part though is knowing that I make people happy just to be hanging out with them.”

His sincerity is absolutely astounding. There are not a lot of inhabitants you can discover today with such sincerity, especially around a high school age, many of them not even having discovered their identities yet.

But something stands in the way of him becoming the next tranquil leader of the world.

The genius’ name is Bubba and he is, in fact, San Jose’s only feline student.

Bubba has an ID card (with ASB), and goes to classes everyday, like a modern child eager for the taste of knowledge.

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But, many people seem to forget how much power Bubba has. The master-feline has 47,000 fans on Facebook, and he has stories written about him that have appeared on CBS, SFGate.com, and even MTV.com. 

Children, young adults, and adults are all under the common misconception that cats are inferiror because of all the cute Youtube videos of them playing the piano or in a box.

Bubba is an adorable community icon. He is allowed to languish in slumber like a loafing lump whenever he wants around campus. He’s not an honor roll student. Actually, he prefers to be called a jelly roll student because he loves snacks more than math problems.

“I can only attest to what I can see on the Internet,” he wrote on Facebook. “Cats apparently rule the world from what I can tell.”

But Bubba declares to not take part in any “Animal Farm”-like domination.

“We just want to be loved, cared for, and fed treats,” he wrote. “The occasional tummy rub doesn’t hurt though.”

He ended his statement with a smiley face emoji as if he had not a care in the world.

Although Bubba has no interest in rising to greater power, other animals have already attempted such a power grab.

In 1984 in nearby Sunol,  a black Labrador mix named Bosco ran as ‘Re-pup-lican’ for mayor and actually triumphed.  China’s People Daily were so intimidated by Bosco’s power it bashed him in an article which stated,  “Bosco is an example on why democracy fails.”

Was China’s People Daily trying to stop the enslavement of mankind ruled by animals before it was too late? Maybe, but it doesn’t matter anymore because their efforts have failed.