The Official Student-Run Newspaper of California High School

The Californian

The Official Student-Run Newspaper of California High School

The Californian

The Official Student-Run Newspaper of California High School

The Californian

News Lite

Finishing strong?

Kat LeTran, Features Editor June 3, 2016

The inevitable season has come again this year. Parents are desperate. Students are sluggish. Teachers are at their wits’ ends. No, it’s not the flu season, or even allergy season. It’s the...

The most popular pastime of Cal High students, wasting classtime by going to the bathroom.

Staff writers rate Cal’s bathrooms

Josh Iversen and Chiara Ty June 3, 2016

As human beings, certain bodily functions are necessary for survival and thus deserve to be respected. Our school, however, has at times exhibited blatant disrespect for these functions with dirty, poorly-stocked...

Hamster balls have become the greatest form of transportation since the bicycle.

They see him floatin, they be a hatin’

Taylor Singer, Staff Writer June 3, 2016

A 42-year-old Florida man was rescued last month in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean after trying to embark on a 3,000-mile long nautical journey aboard an inflatable hamster ball. This modern Magellan...

Donald Trump has become the hottest presidential candidate ever, sorry Franklin Pierce.

Trump’s secret tower

Karina Myrenget, Staff Writer April 29, 2016

The Trump Erotic novel was a highly anticipated work of fiction this year. The idea started with a few tweets by comedian Elijah Daniel, who started tweeting about getting drunk, writing an entire sex...

You just hit the ninjackpot

Saif Khan, Staff Writer April 29, 2016

Are you an eligible, media experienced acrobat proficient in broken Japanese and shadowy combat? Are you hankering for a whopping $19,000 a year? Then you might just be suited for the Ieyasu Tokugawa...

This pun was on porpoise

Tristen Singer, Staff Writer April 29, 2016

Dolphins are the cute, cuddly and innocent friends of the sea. But in the case of six dolphins currently patrolling the ports of Russia, all is not as it seems. That’s right, as a part of a program...

Whether it’s Nerf bullets or responsibility, Cal high seniors are exceptionally good at dodging anything that comes their way.

Assassins is more than just a game; it’s a way of life

Nate Rankin, Staff Writer March 15, 2016

As second semester seniors, we have a lot of pressure on us to show the world that we can be successful young adults. We’re supposed to show responsibility, independence and qualities that would deem...

“Promposals,” have gotten more and more expensive as the years have gone on. By 2020, perhaps we will be asking people to prom with literal stacks of cash.

Prom costs more than Kanye’s shoes

Tristen Singer, Staff Writer March 15, 2016

It’s finally over. The holiday season and all of the reckless spending brought with it has finally drawn to a close. Whether you’re still kicking yourself for buying that useless hoverboard, or...

Uber puppy service is more cuddly than ever

Jessica Yuan, Staff Writer March 15, 2016

Having a “ruff” day? Instead of chugging down  another cup of coffee, there’s now a much cuter alternative for that little boost during your mid-day crash. Throughout the course of the past year,...

Alcoholic Anonymous are about to welcome some new robotic, alcoholic-driven flying members into their support system.

Droning is about to get a lot more fun

Cameron Harris, News Lite Editor February 8, 2016

Amazon delivers everything. Well, not everything, but they are getting closer. Alcoholic beverages are now being delivered by Amazon. Choose your one hour delivery for an extra eight dollars, or just...

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