Sunscreen shots for everybody!

Tyler Hollander

Staff Writer

Having fun in the sun wasn’t the easiest task this year at the senior picnic.

As usual, the former senior classes ruined the fun of the annual senior picnic.

A couple years ago the location was changed from Disneyland to Santa Cruz. This year administration made an upgrade to  Six Flags Discovery Kingdom.

But the fun of this event was destroyed by such a dark and sinister foe that the participants can only look back on this day with dread and gloom.

The day was ruined by the sun.

This year, sunscreen was banned from the senior picnic because  a few years ago senior class put alcohol in sunscreen bottles and drank from them.

Due to the determination of past seniors to have a “good time,” this year’s seniors had to suffer.

Since I didn’t want to suffer with the rest of my class, I decided to cross to the dark side of the law.

On Tueseday, I became a smuggler in order to avoid a sunburn. Here are my hints for future classes to smuggle sunscreen into the senior picnic.

1) Put sunscreen in a bag.

It is much easier to smuggle sunscreen when it’s inside a bag compared to a bottle. Since sunscreen is a liquid, it will contour to the shape of the bag, making it easier to hide.

2) Have another banned item that the searcher can easily find.

If the person searching you finds an item that isn’t allowed on the bus, then they will think that they have found the ONLY article that isn’t allowed, and will hopefully stop the search thereafter.

To make sure the person searching you stops after finding the item, make it easy to find and move on to step 3.

3) DON’T ACT GUILTY

For whatever reason this step is very hard for most people, even though it is the most obvious step.

When an administrator finds the banned item from step 2, you must sheepishly play it off like you forgot that it wasn’t allowed and apologize.

If you do this, then the searcher may think that that’s all you have, but if you act guilty then they will most likely continue their search of you.

4) Have lookouts to monitor the surrounding area.

Unfortunately everyone doesn’t have a magic map like  Harry Potter that tells where everyone is. To make up for this shortcoming, you must have a lookout system that will inform you whenever an administrator is near.

My suggestion is to have a network of three to five people that will be able to communicate through the use of mirrors.

The best place to have your network is at the top of  the roller coasters Medusa and V2, the entrance to the dolphin and whale show, and lastly at the entrance of the park.

With this network you will have no problem managing your mischief.

5) DON’T let everyone know you have it.

The last thing that you want is for all the crispy  people to be coming to you every five seconds for sunscreen.

If an administrator sees a shady, or in this case, extremely pale person, coming over to you and leaving with liquid on their face, then they are bound to suspect you.

So whatever you do, keep your goods on the down low.If you don’t want your senior picnic ruined by a sunny day, follow these simple steps. If you do, there is no way you can get caught with sunscreen.

Sometimes rules are made to be broken, and when the need is dire enough, there must be trailblazers who will risk it all.

This is one of those situations where people are willing to risk it all to avoid scorched skin.

Happy smuggling.