The only factor I can imagine making a difference in your life is your academic record, because people would rather hire a person with all A’s on their resume instead of putting that they were the most popular kid in school.
Nothing in the world is sadder than a high school graduate with Peter Pan syndrome, believing that they can stir up drama the way they did in high school.
Therefore, I offer this easy-to-follow guide to make life after high school easier, enjoyable, and crisis-free.
Step one; don’t be a jerk. I’d like to give a shout-out to all the class bullies reading this. Your audience is gone and they’re never coming back.
In high school, people get away with stuff like bullying because the admins have no other choice but to tolerate it. But in the world of reality, antics that used to cause suspensions and Monday schools can give you pink slips and police charges.
The last thing anybody decent wants to see is a grown adult throwing racial slurs around in a drunken fit because the police wouldn’t let him smoke around a day-care center.
Step two; get on the ball. The economy may be slipping into the pits of hades, but that shouldn’t prevent you from at least attempting to get a job so you can move out.
Sure, if you’re attending college then good for you, I wish you the best of luck in getting your degree. Just don’t plan on staying in your parent’s house after you graduate.
The last thing any parent wants is for their kid to be dependant on them beyond their 21st birthday, so if you want to stay on their good side then I suggest you try to get a job in your profession ASAP.
Protip: don’t show up at their door with a basket of laundry in your hands.
Step three; grow up a bit. For those of you people who plan on going to college, if you put dirty dishes in the sink in your dorm, they’ll still be there in the morning.
It saddens me that people take their parents for granted because you only have so long to truly appreciate them for all that they did for you when you were growing up.
That and the fact that it’s embarrassing when they wonder why their clothes didn’t magically clean themselves.
And finally, step four: make connections. The most important factor in moving up in the world is knowing the right people, which can determine wether or not you move from the common McCashier to the CEO of One Percenters Inc.
One common way to get to know people is to get a group that goes out for coffee or drinks every other day, as people with their own connections are attracted to conversations that match their interests.
Just be sure to not go out with drinking buddies too often because while you can meet people with connections, they tend to be involved in “slightly illegal operations.”
So there you go, an easy-to-follow guide on how to make life after high school easier, enjoyable, and crisis-free. Here’s wishing our seniors good day, good luck, and good hunting for a new circle of friends.
