In the wake of President Obama’s initiative to put body camera on police officers nationwide, another genius idea has come to light: to attach body cameras to Cal High teachers.
While some might...
So I found him. I found the guy who kidnapped me. He’s a scientist, but the worst kind.
I wasn’t the only person he had kidnapped. There were many others, all of whom had been experimented on by...
I ran is a sentence. Iran, pronounced “ee-ron” for all you uncultured gringos, is a country. A very disliked and misunderstood country here in the U.S.
I had the pleasure of spending my three weeks...
Sheriff Stephen Haskell of Sublette County, Wyo., which spans the great metropolises of Pinedale, Big Piney and Marbleton and home to 10,041 people, has banned the wearing of cowboy attire by police officers...
I got the test results of my suit back from the police. They’ve matched some of the residue on it to a very narrow list of locations, only one of which I could fathom to have been where I was held.
Accessing...
Are you looking for a new style? One that screams, “I’m a homeless, zombie-killing apocalypse survivor?” Worry not, as our savior Yeezus has answered your prayers.
Between interrupting singers...
Several weeks ago, in an hour of crisis, the Cal High cafetorium made a poor decision regarding the beloved cutlery of its students.
Inadvertently supporting the worst mashup since Nickelback duetted...
Hey guys, before I can give you your first words of wisdom for 2015, I’ve got some things I need to tell you.
First off, I’m very proud of myself. I did some charity work for my neighbors, using...
If you were to put a picture in your head of the cast of a movie taking place in ancient Egypt, the time of pyramids and pharaohs, what would the picture look like?
Surely, there must be some color...
In a taste test by professional taste testers, aka The Californian’s fourth period class, we have concluded that the Lay’s potato chip company has officially lost its mind.
Five bags of bizarrely-flavored...
