The Californian

Sincerely Stefan

February 4, 2011

By Stefan Chapman, staff writer Dear Stefan, I have been trying to do something special with my girlfriend for Valentine’s Day but I don’t know what to do. – Clueless Lover Dear Clueless Lover, Try and surprise her with something that’s never been done before. You don...

Valentine’s Day queries solved

February 4, 2011

By Ashby Huber, staff writer This coming holiday has always been full of uncertainty and questions. From figuring out the stability of your relationship, to trying to step up your game and be the ultimate ladies’ man, there are some questions that should finally be answered. Valentine’s...

Have you heard? The beard’s the word

February 4, 2011

By Tyler Hollander, staff writer What makes a man? Is it how ripped he is or is it how large of a harem he has? Reasons such as these are ridiculous. It’s his ability to cover his face in hair. The month of January, known as Manuary, is the month that separates the men from the boys, the Grizzly Adamses from the Justin Biebers. The people who don’t u...

The subtle art of regifting

December 14, 2010

by Megan Keefer Have you ever wanted to get rid of that ugly sweater your grandmother got you? Well now you can with these five easy steps to the art of regifting. Step one: Wait an appropriate amount of time; don’t give back a gift a year after you got it. People always seem to remember that pair ...

A Festivus for the rest of us…and more

December 14, 2010

by Emily Gross While most people will be spending their holiday season under the Christmas tree or by the menorah, some brave few choose to celebrate in other ways. The most well-known alternative holiday is Festivus, which takes place on Dec. 23. Festivus is a holiday invented on the TV show “Seinf...

Introducing McDonald’s Sad Meals

December 14, 2010

by Melanie Eiges What did you get when you opened up your McDonald’s Happy Meal when you were young? Greasy food and a special surprise. Now what do you get when you open up a Happy Meal that is over 600 calories? Greasy food and greasy after-stains. As a kid, I remember always begging my mother ...

When political animals attack

November 4, 2010

By John Sexton, News Lite Editor What is the world coming to? Witches are running for Congress. Pundits are holding rallies. And Fox News has no idea who signs their paychecks. I’ve found that most high school students care more about  their friends and the Giants making the World Series th...

Abreev urself

November 4, 2010

By Amelia Arvesen, Staff Writer Do you prefer awk or kwerd? A new lingo has emerged among Cal High studes called “abreevs.” If one isn’t educated in this lang it’s almost as hard to understand as the Sims. “Basically you can abreev any word,” said senior Avi Feldman.  “Just cut off...

Sincerely, Stefan

November 3, 2010

By Stefan Chapman, Advice Columnist What’s the best way to tell a friend he or she is ugly? – Oscar the Grouch I’m glad you asked this question because there is nothing more awkward than having an unattractive friend. I’ve even been in situations where an ugly friend wanted to know...

Introducing, Sincerely Stefan feat. Stefan Chapman

October 5, 2010

Dear Stefan: I have a boy problem. I tend to follow this boy wherever I go. I hope he’s not weirded out. How do I avoid getting arrested for what some people call “stalking”? – Right Behind You Dear Right Behind You: Now stalking is just a word , a word that some people might view as inappropriate, but not me. If you’re a stalker it just means you’re committed ...