The Californian

Fridays are for the Aliens

Fridays are for the Aliens

Joshua Nichols, News Lite Editor

October 14, 2019

The most anticipated storming of a secretive Air Force Base in American history happened on Sept. 20.  Kinda.  “AlienStock” was not a bop, but rather a over-hyped flop. Rather than a Spartan style siege of Area 51, we were instead gifted with dancing, alien bodysuits, and some Chad with a...

BART? More like BARF (Get it, ‘cuz it’s trash?)

BART? More like BARF (Get it, ‘cuz it’s trash?)

Abhyudaya Srivastava, Staff Writer

October 14, 2019

A few months ago, a woman sat down on a seat in a BART train on what she thought was chocolate, except it wasn’t.  Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) is supposed to be a fast and efficient way to get around the Bay Area, but recently it’s been everything but that. One man was so fed up about crazy thin...

The Stairs are Cruel to this Freshman

Wyatt Golla, Staff Writer

October 14, 2019

Please have pity on me, for I have the displeasure of taking a miniature hike every day and I have no say in the matter. I have four periods that require vast amounts of labor just to get to my next academic activity. Yes, I have to walk up several flights of stairs every day, and that’s only counting...

Sister scandal = sayonara snake

Sister scandal = sayonara snake

Joshua Nichols, Staff Writer

May 29, 2019

I cannot believe I am using my talents to write this.  Now I’ll be honest, the only time I have ever watched anything James Charles is when it is being spoon fed to me, dank meme style on Twitter.  In case you were in a coma and you still don’t know who Charles is, then just remember...

Embrace senioritis, the ruthless disease

Embrace senioritis, the ruthless disease

Siddhant Gupta, Staff Writer

May 29, 2019

With every day that goes by that we have to endure eight grueling hours at an educational institution comes that insatiable urge to just… not care.   As we get closer and closer to the end of the school year, a seasonal epidemic sweeps through our school. Tardies are stockpiled, attendance...

Anti-Vax movement is clueless

Anti-Vax movement is clueless

Joshua Nichols, Staff Writer

May 2, 2019

Vaccinations are good.  Right?  Polio, Measles, Mumps, Influenza, Pertussis, Tetanus, HPV, Meningitis, Chicken Pox, Hepatitis A, and Hepatitis B are all diseases or illnesses people can be vaccinated against. And while half of them sound like the names of upper echelon Italian fashion brands, it...

Another one bites the dust – AAF is latest to fail

Andrew Sousa, Staff Writer

May 2, 2019

It’ll work this time, I promise.  These are the words that so many commissioners of football leagues say, determined to show that their “sexy, new age” league will be able to stand with and even take down the NFL. They are all wrong. On April 2, the Alliance of American Football annou...

The death of ‘Fortnite’ is near

Andrew Sousa, Staff Writer

March 26, 2019

At the beginning of time, there was Pong. Then there was Mario. Then there was Minecraft. And then there was... “Fortnite.” Throughout history, video games have come and gone, evolving with times. They’ve revolutionized the entertainment industry and almost always found themselves on top of...

The stressful, terrifying game of Assassins

The stressful, terrifying game of Assassins

Aidan Trejo, Staff Writer

March 26, 2019

I live everyday in constant fear, afraid that it could very well be my last day. I cannot walk down the street or to school without looking over my shoulder every three seconds. Why did I pay $15 to feel like this?  It is that time of the year where seniors suit up for the most intense battl...

The shame of failing a driving permit test

Kate Hong, Staff Writer

March 26, 2019

Picture this: You’re driving to school in a brand new car. A Mercedes Benz, Tesla, Corvette, you name it. When you pull up to school, all of your friends stare at your new, hot ride in jealousy.  Except you’re not driving a new car, and never will. Why, you ask? It’s because it’s the day you...