The Official Student-Run Newspaper of California High School

The Californian

The Official Student-Run Newspaper of California High School

The Californian

The Official Student-Run Newspaper of California High School

The Californian

News Lite

Emojis take over

Kaitlyn Martin, Staff Writer September 29, 2016

Apple unveiled earlier this month 100 new and redesigned emojis, which were distributed among the buyers and loyal customers for the IOS 10. These brand new super duper emojis are either slightly altered...

The omnipotent entity that is Brandon Victoriano basking in his own glory.

Victoriano’s Secret: Sexy advice

Brandon Victoriano, Online Moderator and Editor September 29, 2016

Editor’s note: After a year hiatus, the News Lite advice column is back!  We apologize to our readers in advance. Dear Brandon, I have this friend who is obsessed with memes. What should I do?...

Finishing strong?

Kat LeTran, Features Editor June 3, 2016

The inevitable season has come again this year. Parents are desperate. Students are sluggish. Teachers are at their wits’ ends. No, it’s not the flu season, or even allergy season. It’s the...

The most popular pastime of Cal High students, wasting classtime by going to the bathroom.

Staff writers rate Cal’s bathrooms

Josh Iversen and Chiara Ty June 3, 2016

As human beings, certain bodily functions are necessary for survival and thus deserve to be respected. Our school, however, has at times exhibited blatant disrespect for these functions with dirty, poorly-stocked...

Hamster balls have become the greatest form of transportation since the bicycle.

They see him floatin, they be a hatin’

Taylor Singer, Staff Writer June 3, 2016

A 42-year-old Florida man was rescued last month in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean after trying to embark on a 3,000-mile long nautical journey aboard an inflatable hamster ball. This modern Magellan...

Donald Trump has become the hottest presidential candidate ever, sorry Franklin Pierce.

Trump’s secret tower

Karina Myrenget, Staff Writer April 29, 2016

The Trump Erotic novel was a highly anticipated work of fiction this year. The idea started with a few tweets by comedian Elijah Daniel, who started tweeting about getting drunk, writing an entire sex...

You just hit the ninjackpot

Saif Khan, Staff Writer April 29, 2016

Are you an eligible, media experienced acrobat proficient in broken Japanese and shadowy combat? Are you hankering for a whopping $19,000 a year? Then you might just be suited for the Ieyasu Tokugawa...

This pun was on porpoise

Tristen Singer, Staff Writer April 29, 2016

Dolphins are the cute, cuddly and innocent friends of the sea. But in the case of six dolphins currently patrolling the ports of Russia, all is not as it seems. That’s right, as a part of a program...

Whether it’s Nerf bullets or responsibility, Cal high seniors are exceptionally good at dodging anything that comes their way.

Assassins is more than just a game; it’s a way of life

Nate Rankin, Staff Writer March 15, 2016

As second semester seniors, we have a lot of pressure on us to show the world that we can be successful young adults. We’re supposed to show responsibility, independence and qualities that would deem...

“Promposals,” have gotten more and more expensive as the years have gone on. By 2020, perhaps we will be asking people to prom with literal stacks of cash.

Prom costs more than Kanye’s shoes

Tristen Singer, Staff Writer March 15, 2016

It’s finally over. The holiday season and all of the reckless spending brought with it has finally drawn to a close. Whether you’re still kicking yourself for buying that useless hoverboard, or...

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