With school back in session and the arrival of fall, I was fully prepared to settle into the routine of homework and TV show premieres.
Then disaster struck. I had to give up TV for a week for my first newspaper story.
I’ve been accused of something I have never been accused of before: being a TV addict. I am not addicted to TV, and it wounds me to be accused of such a ridiculous thing.
I have a deep appreciation for television, but that’s as far as it goes. I decided to show my lack of addiction by giving up TV for one week, Sept. 24-30.
It was a very painful ordeal, but it had to be done in order to prove my innocence.
Day One: 8:43 p.m.
I have lasted 21 hours without TV. Since I’m not dead yet, I think things are going relatively OK. Of course, it helps that I was asleep for six of those hours and was in school for eight.
Things got a little rough this morning when I remembered I wasn’t allowed to watch TV. For 26 minutes, all I could do was lie on couch and scream, “Why?” between violent sobbing.
Right now, the new comedy “Partners” is on. I heard it’s like “Will & Grace,” but without Grace. I’m sorry I missed it, but some things are just more important than television.
Day Two: 8:22 p.m.
The effects of living without TV are beginning to appear. I didn’t sleep well last night, and I was tired and dizzy all day. In A period, I noticed my hands were shaking while writing.
Tonight is far more punishing than last night. Tonight I’m missing my comedy block: “Ben & Kate,” “New Girl” and “The Mindy Project.”
I’m taking shelter in my room. The door is locked, and I assigned a few of my stuffed animals to guard it for good measure. I am still not safe. My parent’s laughter is louder than Maroon 5. It finds its way through the walls, where it traps me in the corner of my room.
Day Three: 4:15 p.m.
On any other day, an afternoon without homework would be like winning the lottery.
Today it’s a curse.
I thought today would be better, since none of my favorite shows are on tonight. Without homework, though, I have nothing to distract me.
I’ve decided to keep track of the days I go without TV before my mind is so far gone that I’m no longer able to remember.There are only three marks so far. That doesn’t look quite right, though, so I add 30 more.
That’s more reasonable.
Day Four: 6:34 a.m.
I’m ashamed to announce that around 1 a.m., in a moment of severe weakness, I buckled under the pressure and watched the last five episodes of the first season of “Once Upon a Time.” I have no words.
Day Five: 9:39 p.m.
My actions from yesterday have left me reeling. I threw myself off of a tall structure today, but it didn’t hurt that much. The kitchen counter isn’t as high off the ground as I thought.
I didn’t sleep at all last night, and I know I look like hell warmed over. It’s a fight to keep my eyes open, and yet I am unable to sleep. My hands shake all the time now, and it’s so bad that I accidentally punched someone in the face today.
I don’t know what made me watch those episodes last night. I think it was a combination of missing the season premieres of “The Big Bang Theory” and “Person of Interest.”
What is done is done. I am so full of self-loathing that I can’t even appreciate the fact that it’s Friday.
Day Six: 1:24 p.m.
Today is like the day before a marathon, not that I’ve ever run in a marathon. The point is that it’s tomorrow that’s important, not today. Today is just a transition to tomorrow; one last day of torture before even more, worse torture.
I haven’t slept well all week, and I’m finding it difficult to think straight. My AP European History notes look like they’re written in another language.
Day Seven: 11:54 p.m.
Today was worse than all the other days combined. “Once Upon a Time,” “The Simpsons,” “Revenge,” and “Family Guy” were all on.
Right now I’m waiting for midnight so I can watch “Once Upon a Time.”
Tomorrow’s Monday, and I know that I’m going to be a mess, but some things are just more important than school.
Yes, I am addicted to TV.
