The last year has been a series of firsts: first year of worldwide lockdowns, first year of online schooling, first year of not being able to see friends, and first year of a Super Bowl without a packed stadium.

To commemorate the Super Bowl LV, The Californian has compiled a list of the top 20 commercials from this year’s big game. They are ranked from best to worst. The opinions are solely of the author.

1.  Alexa: Michael B Jordan. Do I need to say more? Do I really need to say more? All I have to say on this is that the poor husband needs a hug. And maybe a beer. 10/10
2. Cadillac: Timothee Chalamet as Edgar Scissorhands is something I never knew I needed until I saw it. The sheer amount of talent he exhibits in this ad is more than I will exhibit in my entire lifetime. Side note: His cheekbones are really nice. 10/10
3. Pringles: Everytime I see a Pringle, a light inside of me dies. The only thing they are good for is cosplaying as the Boogie Monster from some slimy swap. But the ad is the complete opposite. We have our astronauts slowly drowning in a metal egg, our nerds in Houston are too busy understanding the logistics between flavor profiles, and we have our drunk Russians yelling at each other about some nasty combination of chips. Instead of just a piece of me dying, the rest of humanity is meeting their demise in this ad. 10/10
4. Toyota x Jessica Long: Holy cow, her form is amazing. Her pull, her kick, her dive. I see why she’s on the Olympic level. The visuals also were really cool. The black on black on blue ripples was very aesthetically pleasing 9/10
5. Logitech: The sheer amount of talent in this makes my brain hurt, but more importantly, Roblox cowboy, Lil Nas X, better drop the new music, otherwise there is going to be a riot. I speak for most people. 8.6/10
6. Doritos: The most iconic commercial this year. It was horrifying watching Matthew McConaughy balloon up in the vending machine.They should add a trigger warning for those with claustrophobia. Mindy Kaling silently judging and staring at 2D Matthew McCounaghey also gave me intense Kelly Kapoor flashbacks. 8/10
7. Jimmy John’s Sub: Underground sandwich mafias? Ketchup King pins? Mastermind of deli meats? I am here for it. 8/10
8. Klarna: Those boots are hideous. The only people who would wear such a fashion crime would either be 5 years old or is 45 trying to fit in with the youth and there is no in between. The rest of the ad was incredibly easy on the eyes. 7/10
9. M&M’s: Holy cow the pettiness in this ad was astronomical. And why is it always red getting into life and death situations? Red ain’t always sus. 7/10
10. Cheetos: Ashton Kutcher singing is something I never want to hear again. It’s like a dying donkey stamping on accordions while a cat scratched a blackboard simultaneously. It’s like having your impromptu shower concert happen in public. I need my eardrums to burst. 7/10
11. Hellmann’s: What does one do with two shelves of Hellmann’s mayo? I get that the point of this ad was to sell mayonnaise, but the chances of having twoi refrigerator shelves chock full with containers on containers of mayonnaise seems pretty slim. I have met some mayonnaise obsessed people in my life – people who eat apple slices with mayonnaise even. But a refrigerator full? And honestly, Amy Schumer on her own? Meh. Schumer in a commercial for an egg and oil based condiment? Perfect.  6.1/10
12. Bass Pro Shop: Bass Pro Shop is back at it again, with their ruthless targeting of men who claim that Saturday is in fact,  “for the boys”.The emotional background music just made this whole ad a million times more funny. 6/10
13. State Farm: Jake and Drake from State Farm? Drake’s haircut? What drugs are the commercial producers on? I need to know, because I want in.  6/10
14. Bud Light: That was random. Why did Post Malone come out of a portal? Why medieval people? What do the medieval people think of Post Malone’s face tats? And why is the background music a Walmart version of the Avengers theme song? I have a lot of questions that need answering. 5/10
15. Oikos Pro: Someone tell me why a yogurt commercial is so intense? For the second time there, I genuinely thought this was some gym membership ad, but no, it’s yogurt. If it was an ad for Gatorade, sure, But yogurt? 5/10
16. Jeep: Not going to lie, I was waiting for the desert donuts and muddy rain trails, and rocky mountains montage. Instead, I get an emotional monologue and some sad violin music. Pathetic 4.7/10
17. Dexcom: Old Saint Nick lookin real crusty here. Someone better tell Nick Jonas he can’t act. He sounds like he’s really forcing those lines. He’s lucky he has aesthetic value on his side. His voice is really nice though? If nothing works out, he could totally narrate audiobooks. 4.3/10
18. Frito Lay’s: I wanted to see the food, not more football. There is a reason these ads exist in between football and I am pretty sure it is not for more football. The food that was there, that I liked. The poem was good though. 4/10
19.  Mercari: I’m going to be honest here, I thought that the popcorn popper was a vacuum accessory. No joke. Now everytime I think about popcorn, I am going to be thinking how my carpets need a good cleaning. 3/10
20. Mountain Dew x John Cena: I don’t know about anyone else, but just looking at this pink monstrosity makes my teeth hurt. Who in their right minds would want to drink neon corn syrup that looks ( and probably tastes ) like Bubblegum Tylenol? 3/10