As we exit March, we are probably looking back on the many happenings of the month: St. Patrick’s Day, Irish-American History Month, the beginning of the competitive season for the Gaelic Athletic Association in Ireland, and certainly other things to do with the Emerald Isle.
But when seniors are taking this time to reflect on the month’s happenings, they probably can think of at least one thing not related to Guinness and gingers: college admissions.
Yes, after writing three dozen essays and spending several thousand dollars on applications, seniors have waited until March, when the majority of colleges either kill their dreams, or give the go ahead on letting tens of thousands into student debt.
With the stakes so high, it is no surprise that hopeful applicants crack under the pressure. But they still need to keep their grades up to not get their admission rescinded, so that’s not an option. Therefore, instead of crumbling like a crouton, seniors have turned to “other” methods to take the edge off.
I would like to share a few of these stories with you today.
Beginning this journey, I confronted many of my fellow seniors with a simple question: “Is there any ritual, or superstition, or coping mechanism you have for waiting for college decisions?” The sincerity of some of the responses may be dubious, but they are informative.
“Spending money on Genshin,” senior Rex Ouyang said about the mobile game Genshin Impact. My first thoughts were, “Didn’t you already spend enough on college apps?”
It’s absolutely crazy the way colleges are nickel and diming poor, impoverished Bay Area folk with application submission costs. $75 for Northwestern? $90 for Stanford? $80 for EACH UC campus? Just for a chance to get that rejection in your inbox? No way, Jose.
Having compassion for Ouyang, I decided to get rid of that money burner once and for all. I knew the only way to make him quit was if I crushed his passion to play. Only then would he put the phone down. It was hard, but it was necessary.
When he showed me a screenshot of himself randomly pulling some character by luck [I don’t know, I don’t play Genshin], he seemed quite proud of it. Feeling like I was putting down my childhood dog, but knowing what I had to do, I deleted the image off his phone.
Returning to my journey, senior Trenton von Sosen provided an interesting response to my query: “I eat hummus,” Von Sosen said. This was a bit puzzling, as you can imagine. I didn’t know if it was superstition, a coping mechanism, or even related to my question at all. Wanting to get to the bottom of this, I asked why he always had his hands on the classic Middle Eastern dip and spread.
“I like it,” Von Sosen continued. My journalistic Spidey-senses triggered, I knew that I just had to know why Von Sosen ate so much hummus.
Was it simple stress eating? Did he wish to earn brownie points with the University of Dubai and other high ranking Middle Eastern colleges, to better his odds?
Did he adhere to a religion of some sort that held hummus as sacred?
“At least a Trader Joe’s pack a day,” was all he added.
Looks like this one will have to be a mystery for the ages, like Jack the Ripper or D.B. Cooper.Disturbed by the hummus mystery, I found solace in the college application ritual of senior Neil Thomas, who said, “I kind of dance around in a circle.”
Finally, a normal weird response! None of this nonsense about Gacha games or delicious dip. A standard “weird” response fitting for a C- was all I could take by then.
Truly stunning, and worthy of a spot in the Grizzly Growl between two kids I’ve never met in my life. I had to think, “What is the point of all this?”
I’d already tortured myself with sleepless nights, trying to put together the pieces of the hummus question. I’d betrayed the trust of Ouyang, and did what had to be done. And for what?
A D-tier article on the silly little things we do to try to placate the omniscient judges of the “college admissions office”? These questions left me in a dark place, physically, emotionally, even philosophically.
I spent nights in my chamber, pondering many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore, and no old philosopher guy with a wizard beard could answer it for me. Only one sage could give me the answer.
“My fate has already been determined,” senior Alyssa Yu, the greatest philosopher of all, said. “They’ve already selected whether I’ll get in or not.”
My soul was healed. But Yu, is there anything I can do about my own admittance chances?
“Nothing I do now will change it, whether I cry, if I throw a party,” Yu said. “The only thing that affects it now is whether or not I get rescinded from wherever I choose, so…”
But that sounds really difficult.
There is nothing I can do? Don’t most colleges claim to want to empower students and give them the experience that’s right for them? Wouldn’t they want to lift up our voices and leave every option open?
“Too bad, so sad, life sucks.”
Well, isn’t that the truth. Having learned the true meaning of college apps, not only did my heart grow three sizes that day, but I decided to end my journey.
The moral of the story is whether you spend money on mobile games, eat Middle Eastern delicacies, dance in a circle, or do anything else, we are ultimately at the whims of a few college admissions counselors. Here’s to good luck in the game we call college admissions.
Though it’s probably too late, because most of the decisions have already come out by now.
