“High School Musical” is a hoax.

Unlike Gabriela (even though I will admit our names are fairly similar) I did not have the luxury to sing and dance when I was the new student in school.

While that was for sure a let down, the reality was that San Ramon was a long way from El Salvador, where I was born and lived the first 14 years of my life.

“Iron Horse, or Pine Valley?” It seemed like everyone and their mothers went to one of these two middle schools, while I didn’t have the remotest inkling of what those two places were when starting Cal High.

I absolutely hated answering that question. Many times I thought about giving one of the two given answers, but I never did as I was never ashamed of who I was.

But I was scared to let it show in an environment where I was already new. I felt like it would isolate me more.

I was used to knowing everyone, but now I knew no one and no one knew me.

I was used to speaking Spanish, in school and at home. Though I was privileged enough to have been taught English since I was young, there’s a pretty big difference between knowing a language and immersing yourself in the culture surrounding it.

I learned that instantly as I heard people talk between each other. The mannerisms used, shared slang and connotations were all foreign.

I remember hearing one of my classmates talk with a teacher one time and for a good five seconds I had absolutely no idea what was said. I didn’t even register that it was English. I realized knowing a language didn’t mean I was instantly ready for a new life. Here, it was only the first step and I was missing so much more.

English was always around, even in El Salvador. My classes were taught in English, but when instruction time was over everyone resumed speaking in Spanish. Here in California, English had no end. English between my classmates, English out of my teacher’s mouth, English out of the speakerphone. It was everywhere on my first day.

It felt like I was back in preschool. On my first day ever at school, I was obviously scared, but now fear was doubled.

To make it worse, the school I came from had only about 100 students in my grade, but this one had more than 600 people in my grade alone.

And there were three other grade levels with just as many students.

A big part of how I tried to adjust those first few months was me trying to fit in this portrait frame of expectation. I was cherry picking my own personality by what I thought was easiest to like about me, and that got exhausting over time.

I definitely wasn’t happy doing that. But I thought it was just going to have to be that way until I graduated in four years. I remember telling myself things like, “Just focus on your work and the four years will pass by quicker than you think,” and “You just need to be likable, that’s all you need.”

But after putting this incredibly flawed method to practice for maybe a little too long, I came out of my own shell.

I didn’t really notice it at first, but when people spoke to each other in English it wasn’t something prevalent to me anymore. When I talked to people I forgot to go down my mental checklist of things to say, and when I walked into Cal, I suddenly didn’t feel like an imposter.

I’d been so calculated and preoccupied by how I presented myself that I had forgotten who I could be without my worries. I couldn’t live within the confines of this portrait anymore.

So I didn’t.

Instead, I started being who I truly was and speaking whatever way I wanted.

I decided to stop carrying the weight of trying to fit in and finally recognize the differences between changing myself for people and just adapting to my environment by changing my routine, not who I was.

I learned about City Center, Stoneridge Mall, Central Park and many places in the area that are staples to San Ramon.

I remember going to the Club Fair and signing up for every single club because they all looked interesting. I would’ve never even heard of some of these clubs, much less started my own, if I hadn’t moved here.

Every building and store looked humongous back then. I felt like a tiny ant. Now they’re just places I drive by sometimes.

It was easier for me to navigate through social settings now that I actually let myself breathe. I met some wonderful people after those first few months of darkness and despair, and I discovered really cool things to do and classes to take that I didn’t have access to before.

I’d always liked writing and everything with storytelling, but I think I truly immersed myself into this interest when I moved here and took newspaper. I had easy access to certain classes, which helped me specialize what I liked and was passionate about. These new opportunities pretty much built the person who I am today. For that I am very thankful to Cal, and to California as a whole.

Over time, life get better, and that’s something I want every new kid that might be going through something similar to know. It’s never easy, but it doesn’t have to be hard. In time, English became less of a skill and a part of my daily life.

For me, time was all I needed, so give yourself time. Don’t feel rushed to achieve everything in the vague “American Dream” you see in the movies. There is never a right way to adjust. Everyone comes from somewhere different and expresses themselves differently.

Unfortunately there are plenty of ways that make it harder for you, like thinking you’ll sing and dance like Gabriela from “High School Musical.”