It is no secret that the Cal High parking lot is a death trap overflowing with reckless and inexperienced drivers. Lazy, sleep deprived zombies race into the lot in order to not be late to school. The...

Well guys, it’s official. I’ve been stolen. I’ve always dreamed about situations like this. About what I’d do, the hidden messages I’d sneak through. Then my kidnapper gives me a pen and paper...

Junior Prom has come and gone and next on many students’ agenda is Senior Ball. Prom and ball are the bat mitzvah, the quinceanera, the Sweet Sixteen party every young man never had. He gets to dress...

Dear Woodward of Wisdom, How do I make friends? Sincerely, Lone Wolf   Dear Lone Wolf, It was a dark, stormy, and lonely night. I’d gathered all the supplies. Glancing quickly over...

Dear Woodward of Wisdom, Any tips on surviving a zombie apocalypse? Sincerely, Patient Zero   Dear Patient Zero, I knew I’d get asked this question sometime before the end of the...

By next year, Amazon.com will likely have fully-functioning delivery drones. Thank goodness, because if shoppers have to wait another second for their Pyrex Prepware 3-piece mixing bowl set, they would...

I don’t think there is way to present this that makes me sound like a sane individual, so I’m just going to come out and say it. I skipped two days of school last month in order to camp out in front...

Dear Woodward of Wisdom, People keep finding me in their closet. Is there a better place for me to hide? Sincerely, the Monster   Dear the Monster, First off, let me say that I really...