10 reasons to be a Belieber

Caitlin Stein, News Editor

Shout out to all the Beliebers out there who just want to #freebieber from facing time in prison.

Justin Bieber only got a DUI and partook in illegal activities. He’s 19 years old.  Everyone makes mistakes.

Biebs doesn’t get much credit these days as everyone is overlooking his one-of-a-kind qualities. Here are 10 reasons why his 12-year-old fandom supports his every action.

1. He writes master song lyrics.  His song, “Boyfriend,” truly tackles the main topics troubling today’s society.

2. He produced a movie.  Not many people can say they produced a movie all about themselves, their accomplishments and how great they are. He really does work hard playing the role of himself in a movie about himself.

3. Hanging with him is a blast.  I’m sure his 12-year-old fandom would be happy to hear all about the fun times Biebs and his Brazilian friend had.

4. He praises the Lord.  Of course the only true way to honor God is to have five tattoos pertaining to one’s religion when they show no act to otherwise honor one’s deity.

5. He is too fashionable for fashion week.  That whole tight sagging pants style is truly a new trend Bieber rocks, and it isn’t ridiculous at all to have one’s tighty-whitey’s showing.

6.Friends with benefits.  During his travels, Justin likes to enjoy recreational activities that are frowned upon by most but encouraged by his own father. But his high status has left him almost untouchable by the law, a perk to being his friend.

7. Animal lover. Bieber’s monkey, Mally, was invited to go on tour with him in Germany. Justin’s kind and gentle heart has left Mally there to continue her stay in beautiful Munich, allowing Germany to pay for her care.

8. The most patriotic Canadian. Biebs spends his time exfoliating his waste in a bucket saying suggestive things about our former president Bill Clinton. This is, of course, the best way to salute a former president.

9. He’s there for his fans. A young Belieber was lucky to have Justin Bieber himself give something even better than an autograph. Instead, Bieber broke from the norm and put a fan’s phone in his pants. Now that 11 year old can go brag to her friends about her Lysol-needed smart phone.

10. The most charitable human being. Recently, Biebs was seen throwing eggs at someone’s house. Only a true saint like Justin would give someone free eggs while teaching them how to play catch.