How the Little Rocket Man stole Christmas
Alex Suehiro, Staff Writer
December 19, 2017
Filed under News Lite
’Twas the night before Christmas, when all through North Korea, not a creature was stirring, not even with diarrhea. The North Koreans were nestled all snug in their cots, while visions of the great leader danced in their thoughts. Every person in North Korea liked Christmas a lot, but Kim...
All chaotic on the In-N-Out front
Kevin Sablynski, Staff Writer
November 7, 2017
Filed under News Lite
The San Ramon In-N-Out Burger location turns into a harrowing war front after any Cal High event. With each Friday night football game, the unsuspecting establishment is plagued with riots of rowdy individuals from none other than our beloved Cal High. First come the belligerents...
Kian Jafari: San Ramon’s drifting legend
Holden Curtis, Staff Writer
November 7, 2017
Filed under News Lite
Many people in today’s society dream of being an action star, fighting crime and getting into car chases. For most people, having a persona out of a blockbuster movie will always remain a farfetched dream. But for Cal High senior Kian Jafari, this dream has become an absolute reality. Jafari...
Dabbing no longer just a dance move
Kevin Sablynski, Staff Writer
October 2, 2017
Filed under News Lite
As expected, teens stuck in the confines of school have gone under the radar with vaping these days, taking a step further than an average nicotine-based JUUL. It’s along the lines of marijuana now. It’s expected to see high school students stoned in statistics, baked in biology, even inebriated...
Quite a spin on the fidget spinner
Holden Curtis, Staff Writer
October 2, 2017
Filed under News Lite, Uncategorized
The wheel. Who needs it? Sliced bread. Who cares? None of these inventions hold a candle to the glorious fidget spinner. Surely the greatest invention of the 21st century, this small plastic toy has captivated the minds of the easily-impressed in recent months. But just when we...
Solar eclipse gave me super powers
Matt Martinez, Staff Writer
October 2, 2017
Filed under News Lite
I remember when everyone called me an idiot for staring directly into the eclipse without those stupid glasses on. Look at me now. I’m a frickin’ X-Man. I can’t even count how many times I heard the phrase, “Don’t look directly into the sun without glasses” before Aug. 21. ...
Don’t take statues for granite
Kiley Borba, Staff Writer
May 15, 2017
Filed under News Lite
A statue was recently unveiled of the professional soccer player – or futbol player to the rest of the world that may be reading – Cristiano Ronaldo, the Real Madrid and Portuguese national team star. The horrific statue now graces the Cristinao Ronaldo International Airport in Madeira, the small...
WW3 is not for me
Josh Kyser, Staff Writer
May 15, 2017
Filed under News Lite
With the prospect of World War III on the table, the thought of a draft has crossed the minds of many in the U.S. It isn’t an entirely irrational thought, so I’ve compiled a list of 10 easy tips to help you dodge the draft. Tip 1: Get packing. One of the best ways to avoid the draft is to ...
Dallas is quite alarming
Michael Bahk, Staff Writer
May 15, 2017
Filed under News Lite
Remember when there was a fire alarm every hour or so during last year’s finals? Dallas just had a dose of that, except for Dallas, it brought national security into question and had the entire city on lockdown. On April 7, a hacker triggered all 156 emergency alarms in Dallas. The alarms blared...
Quizzes are not real news
Aaron Velasquez, Staff Writer
March 29, 2017
Filed under News Lite
The Internet is a strange, beautiful and vast wonderland. A place of infinite knowledge and one of the crowning achievements of modern civilization. Then there’s BuzzFeed, a colossal waste of time, energy, resources, and server space. A place where logic and science are thrown to the wind...