‘Unfriended’ horror movie is scary bad

The perfect horror movie is one that concocts a flawless potion of suspense, tasteful bloodshed, and more sleepless nights than AP Exams.

“Unfriended” has absolutely none of those qualities.

The highly anticipated and highly disappointing horror movie that was released April 17 is directed by Levan Gabriadze, but I use that term loosely.

“Unfriended” exemplifies the cliched and sometimes overused “found footage,” a popular horror movie technique in which directors film movies through the perspective of a camera belonging to the character in the movie.

The movie stars Shelley Hennig (Blaire Lily), Renee Olstead (Jess Felton), Will Peltz (Adam Sewell), Jacob Wysocki (Ken Smith), Courtney Halverson (Val Rommel), and Moses Jacob Storm (Mitch Roussel) as six teenagers who discover a mysterious Skype message while video chatting.

Initially, the friends believe the Skype account, billie227, which belonged to a girl who had killed herself a year prior, is a prank.

It’s not until the account begins revealing and posting their darkest secrets that they realize a supernatural force, dubbed “Cybernatural,” is the one behind the mysterious Skype account.

Don’t get me wrong, the premise of the movie is pretty bad, but it is not altogether irredeemable. With a lot of help from talented actors and a good script it could be decent.

But no, Gabriadze choose to cast actors all of the subpar variety, and the screenwriters created a script that was like a bad parody of “Mean Girls” on steroids.

The bulk of the script included cat fights, bad relationships, and drugs.

At times I had to remind myself that “Unfriended” was indeed a horror movie, and not an underdeveloped “dark” comedy satire.

Truth be told, the pre-movie commercials and previews of other actual horror movies scared me more than the entirety of “Unfriended.”

The only frightening thing about this movie was the thought that someone actually sat down and thought this movie would be a good idea.

Not only that, but someone also managed to somehow acquire a cast, crew and millions of dollars to create this piece of glorified garbage.

At least “Unfriended” has a moral to it, I’ll give it that.

If you cyber-bully someone, it is a very real possibility that their ghost will come to life, manipulate you and your friends, and reveal all of your secrets through a half-hearted game of “Never Have I Ever” during a Wednesday night Skype call with your friends.

This movie is the kind that makes one leave the theater thinking, “How could a movie go so wrong?”  Or perhaps, “Can I get my money back?”

I give this movie half a Grizzly paw out of four, partially for effort, but mostly for killing off my least favorite character.