by Ashby Huber, staff writer

Scrub-a-dub-dub, bubbles in a tub no more! Students of Cal High, set aside those rubber duckies and look up to the shower head!

The wise old proverb says “April showers bring May flowers.” Therefore, it is time to move away from our in-house swimming pools, and move on to the majestic in-house rain cloud.

This crossover in bathing technique is crucial to our environment.

The saying clearly states that without showers in April, there will be no flowers in the upcoming month of May.

“I feel like flowers bring out the best in everybody… unless you have allergies,” said sophomore and flower enthusiast Charlie Perschau.

Understandably, everyone has a different shower style.

“Usually, (I shower) with warm water, shampoo and conditioner,” said senior Carly Standley. “I also shower at night and naked.”

Research of this age old expression points out that there is only one wrong way to shower.

That way is by not showering at all.

“I prefer to shower in pairs,” said sophomore Kenny Gath.

Although showering does require more stamina and endurance than a well loved bath, standing in the shower excites blood cells in a way no other activity could.

“It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside,” said senior April Landi.

The reason showering is a key element to the growth of May flowers is quite rudimentary.

The human body is like a flower. If it is continuously submerged in water, it will die. If the human race dies out, who will water all the delightful flowers on this planet?

“Fairies come out and make garden gnomes come to life and water the flowers,” said junior Tyler Thornton.

Sometimes though, a shower just doesn’t seem like enough. When the shower-time-blues start to creep up, action must be swift.

Pretending is one clever way to make showers seem magical. That boring old bathroom will transform into a tropical rain forest, and the shower head will become a roaring rainfall.

If pretending doesn’t work, there are always more creative ways to shower on the wild side.

“(You can) spread soap across the slip-n-slide, get a running start, slide, then repeat on your back,” said junior Haley LeDuc. (Safety Tip, check for rocks or large objects before sliding. It’s a slip-n-slide, not a slip-n-bleed).

Ladies and gentlemen, grab those loofahs and shower mats because these April showers will attempt to knock you off your feet! (Safety Tip: Shower mats provide good grip and are recommended for extreme showering).

And so, fellow students, don’t just do it for the flowers, do it for the chance to spice up the social norm that is bathing.