Kian Jafari: San Ramon’s drifting legend

The+car+goes+%22skrt+skrt%22+when+Kian+Jafari+risks+it+all+at+dangerously+high+speeds+for+a+thrust+into+euphoria+and+adrenaline.+It+is+hard+to+distinguish+if+the+trail+of+smoke+is+from+his+drifting+or+from+his+burning+need+for+speed.

Illustration by Sophia Chan

The car goes “skrt skrt” when Kian Jafari risks it all at dangerously high speeds for a thrust into euphoria and adrenaline. It is hard to distinguish if the trail of smoke is from his drifting or from his burning need for speed.

Holden Curtis, Staff Writer

Many people in today’s society dream of being an action star, fighting crime and getting into car chases. 

For most people, having a persona out of a blockbuster movie will always remain a farfetched dream. 

But for Cal High senior Kian Jafari, this dream has become an absolute reality.

Jafari has a thirst for excitement, which he can only remedy with one single action: drifting. 

Drifting is the act of sliding, or as intellectuals say “skrting,” one’s car around a corner or bend in the road at incredibly high speeds.

With months of gruesome and painstaking training, Jafari has quickly risen through the ranks of the drifting community. His elaborate efforts have paid off with impressive results as he  is now seen as one of the top drift racers in San Ramon. 

When asked what his car of choice is, he answered that it was a BMW Z4 2 drive 35i with straight six twin turbo. 

It is a well known fact in the drifting community that the longer the name of your car, the better the drift. In other words, Jafari is a professional.

Jafari’s love for drifting was born into this world like a majestic, galloping stallion on one faithful night, many moons ago. 

While cruising through the harrowing streets of San Ramon, Jafari noticed that he was coming up on a turn. It was at this very instant that he was about to realize his god-like drifting potential. 

Jafari had unleashed the drifting beast within himself.

Instead of simply rounding the curve at a leisurely pace like any other average schmuck with a concern for safety, Jafari shifted everything into high gear and in that moment it was pedal to the metal. 

Much like “The Fast and the Furious” actor Paul Walker, Jafari’s life was on the line. Unlike Walker, however, Jafari came out of the drift well and alive with the grace of a Russian ballerina.

“I hopped over the barrier on the turn,” Jafari said. “My air bags deployed and the battery was ripped out from the bottom of my car.

 “I had to get my car towed and the damages cost $15,000,” he continued. “My insurance covered it all.”

Clearly, this is a classic origin story of how a true drifting hero came to be. But his story does not stop here. Jafari is now known as the king of the streets with an impressive racing record of six wins and zero losses. 

No opponents were available for questioning as it has yet to be confirmed if they are real, presumably because they have been out-drifted from existence.

When asked why he continues to drift, Jafari stated, “I feel an adrenaline rush when I’m close to death. I can’t get enough.” 

Not only does the sweet adrenaline gets his blood pumping, but his drifting partner gets him quite excited as well.

Jafari is very fortunate to have senior Meshek Gomez as his assistant. 

“Meshek is my favorite navigator and guide,” explains Jafari. “He is an even better flag girl.” 

Gomez has won multiple bikini modeling championships, making him perfect for the job.

As for the future of his drifting career, Jafari has big plans to continue his work. 

He completes his extensive daily training on Mario Kart while he awaits for his new ride to be drift ready (his previous vehicle is still in ruins as it was unable to handle his unworldly drifting ability).

He one day wants to drive another mouthful of a car: the BMW E46 M3. 

In addition, he hopes all of his outstanding service at his current job, Panda Express, will land him a sponsorship deal.

The final question posed for Jafari was the deepest of all: How has drifting changed your life?

“It hasn’t made me a better person,” Jafari said. “It’s just really expensive.”