The Californian

Another one bites the dust – AAF is latest to fail

April 16, 2020

It’ll work this time, I promise.  These are the words that so many commissioners of football leagues say, determined to show that their “sexy, new age” league will be able to stand with and...

Sister scandal = sayonara snake

Sister scandal = sayonara snake
May 29, 2019

I cannot believe I am using my talents to write this.  Now I’ll be honest, the only time I have ever watched anything James Charles is when it is being spoon fed to me, dank meme style on Twitter.  In...

Embrace senioritis, the ruthless disease

With school almost over, seniors fight to save their grades.
May 29, 2019

With every day that goes by that we have to endure eight grueling hours at an educational institution comes that insatiable urge to just… not care.   As we get closer and closer to the end of...

Anti-Vax movement is clueless

The Anti-Vax Movement has reached new accomplishments with their stupidity, including a recent outbreak of the preventable disease known as measles.
May 2, 2019

Vaccinations are good.  Right?  Polio, Measles, Mumps, Influenza, Pertussis, Tetanus, HPV, Meningitis, Chicken Pox, Hepatitis A, and Hepatitis B are all diseases or illnesses people can be...

The death of ‘Fortnite’ is near

March 26, 2019

At the beginning of time, there was Pong. Then there was Mario. Then there was Minecraft. And then there was... “Fortnite.” Throughout history, video games have come and gone, evolving with times....

The stressful, terrifying game of Assassins

The stressful, terrifying game of Assassins
March 26, 2019

I live everyday in constant fear, afraid that it could very well be my last day. I cannot walk down the street or to school without looking over my shoulder every three seconds. Why did I pay $15 to feel...

The shame of failing a driving permit test

March 26, 2019

Picture this: You’re driving to school in a brand new car. A Mercedes Benz, Tesla, Corvette, you name it. When you pull up to school, all of your friends stare at your new, hot ride in jealousy.  Except...

Overpriced, overused, overrated

Left to right, young deities Marko Batkovic, NAtale Samuels, Samantha D'Arpino, and Alex Valleoneo flex their sacred goods.
February 12, 2019

Throughout history, people have always had the desire to be the best: sports, academics, politics, underwater basket weaving, beaver role play, you name it. There is always someone trying to be...

Looking for fun? You won’t find it in San Ramon

Looking for fun? You won't find it in San Ramon
February 12, 2019

Living in the Bay Area means living a life full of vibrant activ- ity, and with San Ramon being in such close proximity to San Francisco, there should be a multitude of interesting things to do...

The Ultimate Guide to 2018’s best memes

2018's meme game has greatly improved. A new generation of memes have stormed the Internet and left their mark.
From Twitter to Reddit, this year's meme game has come a long way.
December 18, 2018

This glorious year of memes is coming to end, which means in the spirit of Buzzfeed, WatchMojo, or one of those other pointless lists on the internet, it’s time to review the dankest memes of 2018.  10....

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