Looking for fun? You won’t find it in San Ramon

Izzy Belof and Conan Maron, Staff Writers

Living in the Bay Area means living a life full of vibrant activ- ity, and with San Ramon being in such close proximity to San Francisco, there should be a multitude of interesting things to do in this city.

OK, not really. There’s literal- ly nothing to do. But out of the doldrums of boredom, teenagershave managed to nd various

places to visit and activities to do in this sleepy little town. So in a list in no particular order, here are some thrilling

things to do in San Ramon.

1. Visit the City Center

Oh, the City Center, once promising with life as it tried to do its best Walnut Creek impression and give us an actual downtown. But hundreds of students have quickly realized that 90 percent of the shops aren’t even open yet.

The last time I was this dis-

appointed was when the Super Bowl halftime show used our beloved SpongeBob as an intro to siCkO mOdE. But there is one riveting attraction in the City Center: Boba Guys.

This is where trendy Asian girls post their “aesthetic” photos of organic Strawberry Matcha with grass jelly, almond milk, and no more or less than 13.8 percent sweetness.

These works of art are clearly superior to their evil twin, theoverly saturated sel es withwhite girls holding the newest ombre frappe from the Star- bucks Secret Menu. Becausewe de nitely needed anotherStarbucks two blocks from the one in the Marketplace.

If you’re really bored at the City Center, try building a fort out of those random puzzle pieces on the Astroturf, or going on the roof where the classes 0f 2019 and 2020 congregate at the most random hours.

2. Hang out at the Dougherty Safeway parking lot

OK, I’m gonna be honest. This meet-up point has been less popular because of the City Center roof being the new and hip gathering point. But this is where you can go into Safeway and “borrow” various food items for your consumption.

What else is Safeway gonna do with sushi at 1 a.m.? I might as well do them a favor by disposing of it in my stomach. If you wander around this parking lot at the right hour on the weekend, you can see various Dougherty Valley stu- dents engage in self-run boxing matches in a makeshift version of fight club. Or pull up on a Friday night and see various 20-year-olds show off their cars.3. Honestly, hang out at any parking lot in general. Literally any parking lot can be used as a meeting up a point because of the boredom of students at midnight. You can engage in substance abuse in your cars because what else are you going to do in an empty parking lot?

4. Crash Dougherty parties

I tried to go to a party on the Cal High side of San Ramon over the weekend. The cops beatme there before I even finished this sentence.

Being so isolated from the rest of San Ramon, the Dougherty Valley area contains the most ideal breeding ground for weekend parties, which usually culminate with students “asking for the addy”. With all of their time spent studying, the Dougherty kids sure have a lot of pent-up frustration that needs to be let out by drinking away their despair over 4.5 GPAs.

5. Loiter at any city park

Where else can you go to smoke the green stuff, I mean, admire the green grass. There’s a lot of parks in San Ramon, but don’t worry which one you visit because all of them are exactly the same – incredibly small and only equipped with mediocreplayground structures. This is perfect because you can admire your, ahem, grass in peace.

6. Go to In-N-Out

Cheap burgers, enough said.

7. Kick it at the lake

I’m actually surprised a lot of people don’t know about this place. Just across the street fromTarget is a magni cent lakewhere students can spend theirprobably not sober time shing,admiring the view, or taking a brisk swim. Just don’t drown like the Rams offense did.

8. Escape San Ramon

Honestly, who cares about any of this stuff when you can drive to Berkeley, San Francisco or literally anywhere else? Everyone either goes to Grizzly Peak, San Jose or some overpriced food joint in Walnut creek or Concord.