Don’t take statues for granite
Kiley Borba, Staff Writer
May 15, 2017
A statue was recently unveiled of the professional soccer player – or futbol player to the rest of the world that may be reading – Cristiano Ronaldo, the Real Madrid and Portuguese national team star. The horrific statue now graces the Cristinao Ronaldo International Airport in Madeira, the small...
WW3 is not for me
Josh Kyser, Staff Writer
May 15, 2017
With the prospect of World War III on the table, the thought of a draft has crossed the minds of many in the U.S. It isn’t an entirely irrational thought, so I’ve compiled a list of 10 easy tips to help you dodge the draft. Tip 1: Get packing. One of the best ways to avoid the draft is to ...
Dallas is quite alarming
Michael Bahk, Staff Writer
May 15, 2017
Remember when there was a fire alarm every hour or so during last year’s finals? Dallas just had a dose of that, except for Dallas, it brought national security into question and had the entire city on lockdown. On April 7, a hacker triggered all 156 emergency alarms in Dallas. The alarms blared...
Quizzes are not real news
Aaron Velasquez, Staff Writer
March 29, 2017
The Internet is a strange, beautiful and vast wonderland. A place of infinite knowledge and one of the crowning achievements of modern civilization. Then there’s BuzzFeed, a colossal waste of time, energy, resources, and server space. A place where logic and science are thrown to the wind...
Netflix and cheat
Jenna Lyons, Staff Writer
March 29, 2017
Imagine a world where every Netflix and chill session is built on lies. Betrayed, hurt, jealous. These are just some of the emotions one feels after becoming a victim of the worst dating felony possible: Netflix cheating. You may be wondering: What exactly is Netflix cheating? It is the act...
The chilling end to Club Penguin
Josh Kyser, Staff Writer
March 29, 2017
I am unable to cope. The loss of The Club is devastating. I am fully heartbroken and I wonder how I will continue. So many summers days spent online. The hours my friends spent logged on laughing, dancing and even sledding will surely be missed. I have lost my appetite in the recent weeks. Seeing...
Ganja groupee gimmick
Iris Kang, Staff Writer
February 15, 2017
Celebratory lighters and bongs were taken out of the closet when the infamous Hollywood sign went a little skunky green on New Year’s Day. Citizens and tourists of Los Angeles could not believe their eyes when the iconic “Hollywood” sign in Hollywood Hills was changed so that it read “Hollyweed”. The...
Money first, love second
Kaitlyn Martin, Staff Writer
February 15, 2017
Valentine’s Day is the most wonderful day of the year! It’s been another great day all about love and affection. Gosh, have I mentioned how great love is? How positively, absolutely amazing and wonderful it truly is? Have I? Well buckle up boys and girls because I’m gonna tell you why...
Alexa, the shopaholic
Vidhima Shetty, Staff Writer
February 15, 2017
Imagine waking up one morning and accidentally becoming the owner of an antique doll collection, or having a near to lifetime supply of Froot Loops at your doorstep. These days, because technology has bridged the gap between laziness and getting the things we want, we are able to purchase items with...
The not so United States
Kaylie Rankin, Staff Writer
December 15, 2016
California is arguably the most influential state. So when Donald Trump was elected, Twitter blew up with posts and stated their anger with the hashtag Calexit, meaning that California should secede from the Union and become their own independent country. This idea was created out...