The Californian

Mars program needs more bodies

Christine Lee, Staff Writer

December 15, 2016

Are you tired of living on the same old boring Earth? Want a new change of pace in your boring everyday life?  Calling all aspiring astronauts, Mars One is now accepting applicants to join the Mars One mission, and they want YOU to be a part of the team. Founded in 2011, “Mars One” is an...

Moose, maple syrup, and poutine: an eh-migration guide

Moose, maple syrup, and poutine: an eh-migration guide

Vidhima Shetty, Staff Writer

December 15, 2016

In the past several months that had America strung in anticipation, the joke of moving to Canada following the possibility of Trump’s presidency circulated among many.  Plot twist: it isn’t a joke.  The night of Nov. 8 was one that proved to be problematic for a majority of the population.  The...

2016: A Burrito Odyssey

2016: A Burrito Odyssey

Brendan Ogburn, Josh Iverson,, Patrick Rettig, and Aaron Velasquez

November 7, 2016

Four men on a quest to satisfy their hunger the only way they know how, a fat burrito that sits in their stomach.  The quest was long, ardous, and dangerous but all who embarked survived. This is their story. Mexxi’s calls itself a “authentic Mexican restaurant,” but that couldn’t...

Victoriano’s Secret: Friendship?

Victoriano’s Secret: Friendship?

Brandon Victoriano, Advice Communist

November 7, 2016

Dear Brandon, Hi, I’m a senior and I was wondering how I could make some friends. It’s been four years and although we will all be moving away after this year, I can’t stand the loneliness anymore. What should I do?         Sincerely, Anonymous Dear Anonymous, Friends?...

Note 7 blows away the competition

Ilene Morrisette, Staff Writer

November 7, 2016

The new Samsung Note 7 has proven to have recently become a very hot product. One can say it has really blown up with consumers.  Recently there have been many cases of the smartphone overheating and exploding.  According to Forbes, part of the reason behind the aforementioned explos...

Lone Star State becomes loner

Aaron Velasquez, Staff Writer

September 29, 2016

Since the dawn of time man has tried to unravel the mystery as to why Texas has this never-ending desire to secede from the Union. The newest movement to secede has been headed by Daniel Miller, a sixth generation Texan. He is the head of The Texas Nationalist Movement (TNM), which has been fighting...

Emojis take over

Kaitlyn Martin, Staff Writer

September 29, 2016

Apple unveiled earlier this month 100 new and redesigned emojis, which were distributed among the buyers and loyal customers for the IOS 10. These brand new super duper emojis are either slightly altered or completely different from the original ones. For example, the former gun emoji used to indicate...

Victoriano’s Secret: Sexy advice

Victoriano’s Secret: Sexy advice

Brandon Victoriano, Advice Columnist

September 29, 2016

Editor’s note: After a year hiatus, the News Lite advice column is back!  We apologize to our readers in advance. Dear Brandon, I have this friend who is obsessed with memes. What should I do? Are there support groups? Sincerely, Triggered Dear Poor-Taste-in-Friends, I offer you my...

Finishing strong?

Kat LeTran, Staff Writer

June 3, 2016

The inevitable season has come again this year. Parents are desperate. Students are sluggish. Teachers are at their wits’ ends. No, it’s not the flu season, or even allergy season. It’s the end of the year slump. Everybody knows about senioritis. As the weather gets warmer and seniors...

Staff writers rate Cal’s bathrooms

Staff writers rate Cal’s bathrooms

Josh Iversen and Chiara Ty

June 3, 2016

As human beings, certain bodily functions are necessary for survival and thus deserve to be respected. Our school, however, has at times exhibited blatant disrespect for these functions with dirty, poorly-stocked restrooms. So we decided to investigate, and find out exactly which bathrooms are adequate fo...