Mars program needs more bodies
Christine Lee, Staff Writer
December 15, 2016
Are you tired of living on the same old boring Earth? Want a new change of pace in your boring everyday life? Calling all aspiring astronauts, Mars One is now accepting applicants to join the Mars One mission, and they want YOU to be a part of the team. Founded in 2011, “Mars One” is an...
Moose, maple syrup, and poutine: an eh-migration guide
Vidhima Shetty, Staff Writer
December 15, 2016
In the past several months that had America strung in anticipation, the joke of moving to Canada following the possibility of Trump’s presidency circulated among many. Plot twist: it isn’t a joke. The night of Nov. 8 was one that proved to be problematic for a majority of the population. The...
2016: A Burrito Odyssey
Brendan Ogburn, Josh Iverson,, Patrick Rettig, and Aaron Velasquez
November 7, 2016
Four men on a quest to satisfy their hunger the only way they know how, a fat burrito that sits in their stomach. The quest was long, ardous, and dangerous but all who embarked survived. This is their story. Mexxi’s calls itself a “authentic Mexican restaurant,” but that couldn’t...
Victoriano’s Secret: Friendship?
Brandon Victoriano, Advice Communist
November 7, 2016
Dear Brandon, Hi, I’m a senior and I was wondering how I could make some friends. It’s been four years and although we will all be moving away after this year, I can’t stand the loneliness anymore. What should I do? Sincerely, Anonymous Dear Anonymous, Friends?...
Note 7 blows away the competition
Ilene Morrisette, Staff Writer
November 7, 2016
The new Samsung Note 7 has proven to have recently become a very hot product. One can say it has really blown up with consumers. Recently there have been many cases of the smartphone overheating and exploding. According to Forbes, part of the reason behind the aforementioned explos...
Lone Star State becomes loner
Aaron Velasquez, Staff Writer
September 29, 2016
Since the dawn of time man has tried to unravel the mystery as to why Texas has this never-ending desire to secede from the Union. The newest movement to secede has been headed by Daniel Miller, a sixth generation Texan. He is the head of The Texas Nationalist Movement (TNM), which has been fighting...
Emojis take over
Kaitlyn Martin, Staff Writer
September 29, 2016
Apple unveiled earlier this month 100 new and redesigned emojis, which were distributed among the buyers and loyal customers for the IOS 10. These brand new super duper emojis are either slightly altered or completely different from the original ones. For example, the former gun emoji used to indicate...
Victoriano’s Secret: Sexy advice
Brandon Victoriano, Advice Columnist
September 29, 2016
Editor’s note: After a year hiatus, the News Lite advice column is back! We apologize to our readers in advance. Dear Brandon, I have this friend who is obsessed with memes. What should I do? Are there support groups? Sincerely, Triggered Dear Poor-Taste-in-Friends, I offer you my...
Finishing strong?
Kat LeTran, Staff Writer
June 3, 2016
The inevitable season has come again this year. Parents are desperate. Students are sluggish. Teachers are at their wits’ ends. No, it’s not the flu season, or even allergy season. It’s the end of the year slump. Everybody knows about senioritis. As the weather gets warmer and seniors...
Staff writers rate Cal’s bathrooms
Josh Iversen and Chiara Ty
June 3, 2016
As human beings, certain bodily functions are necessary for survival and thus deserve to be respected. Our school, however, has at times exhibited blatant disrespect for these functions with dirty, poorly-stocked restrooms. So we decided to investigate, and find out exactly which bathrooms are adequate fo...