Pope’s not-so-fire mixtape
Verona Pichler, Staff Writer
December 7, 2015
Filed under News Lite
Pope Francis will no longer simply be known as the Bishop of Rome or the world leader of the Catholic Church. He will also be known as the first of 266 popes to release a fire mixtape. The Pope, in accompaniment with multiple choirs, Damiano Affinito, Giorgio Kriegsch, and Alessia Busetto, came...
Keeping your burgers safe
MacKenzie Brown, Staff Writer
December 7, 2015
Filed under News Lite
Introducing the new addition to In-n-Out’s menu: the Hamburger Homies! Are you tired of wild teenagers having territory disputes by throwing mediocre fries at each other? Do you want students to stop dumping water on your car? If so, the Hamburger Homies are here for you. The San Ramon Police...
Newlyweds say, “High do”
Saif Khan, Staff Writer
October 19, 2015
Filed under News Lite
Weed, ganja, pot, bud, tree, dro, hemp, reefer, hash, grass. Whatever title you bestow upon the burning bush, it is clear that marijuana has enjoyed a significant rise in prominence and popularity in the United States. So substantial is this rise in support and acclaim that people are looking toward...
San Jose student shocks the world
Emma Hall, Staff Writer
October 19, 2015
Filed under News Lite
All over the nation there has been word of an extraordinary student at Leland High School in San Jose. His attributes have changed California’s history and have made national news. This particular student is ingenious, amiable, and a part of a select number of students in the student council....
Sit down and listen up, you freshmen
Cameron Harris, Staff Writer
October 19, 2015
Filed under News Lite
Freshman year is a year of firsts. First high school experience, first block schedule, and your first set of unwritten rules. These rules and regulations have been passed down since Cal High ’s founding in 1973. Freshman, you get the unparalleled 3rd floor. Its roomy hallways allow for unlimited...
Facebook: a gift beyond the grave
Raz Mostaghimi, Staff Writer
June 5, 2015
Filed under News Lite
Great news for ghosts-to-be: in February, Facebook introduced a new feature called the “Legacy Contact.” With this feature, people can give control of their Facebook accounts to a friend or family member after they die. The loved one in charge of the account can accept friend requests, change...
Farewell, Cal High. And now, a hysterical list of what one can do after high school
Sam Gershik and Pierce Woodward
June 5, 2015
Filed under News Lite
Seniors, we are now done with high school. What are some options for what to do next? We could go to college. We could go the military. We could become facetious bloggers that sip coffee and fill with so much false confidence we stop paying taxes. We could adopt a dog. We could skin a cat. We could...
Body cameras belong on our teachers
Saatvika Deshpande, Staff Writer
June 5, 2015
Filed under News Lite
In the wake of President Obama’s initiative to put body camera on police officers nationwide, another genius idea has come to light: to attach body cameras to Cal High teachers. While some might see this as an invasion of privacy, we at The Californian see it as a simple monitoring device. What b...
War of the Woodwards
Pierce Woodward, Advice Columnist
April 27, 2015
Filed under News Lite
So I found him. I found the guy who kidnapped me. He’s a scientist, but the worst kind. I wasn’t the only person he had kidnapped. There were many others, all of whom had been experimented on by this scientist. I was the only success story. Needless to say, I developed a hero complex, and...
I raaaaaaaaaaan, I ran so far away
Arman Tafazzoli, Managing Editor
April 27, 2015
Filed under News Lite
I ran is a sentence. Iran, pronounced “ee-ron” for all you uncultured gringos, is a country. A very disliked and misunderstood country here in the U.S. I had the pleasure of spending my three weeks of spring break (taking off an extra two weeks to add to the one) in Iran after not having visited...