The Californian

Dabbing no longer just a dance move

Kevin Sablynski, Staff Writer

October 2, 2017

As expected, teens stuck in the confines of school have gone under the radar with vaping these days, taking a step further than an average nicotine-based JUUL. It’s along the lines of marijuana now. It’s expected to see high school students stoned in statistics, baked in biology, even inebriated...

Quite a spin on the fidget spinner

Holden Curtis, Staff Writer

October 2, 2017

The wheel. Who needs it? Sliced bread. Who cares?  None of these inventions hold a candle to the glorious fidget spinner. Surely the greatest invention of the 21st century, this small plastic toy has captivated the minds of the easily-impressed in recent months.  But just when we...

Solar eclipse gave me super powers

Matt Martinez, Staff Writer

October 2, 2017

I remember when everyone called me an idiot for staring directly into the eclipse without those stupid glasses on.  Look at me now. I’m a frickin’ X-Man.  I can’t even count how many times I heard the phrase, “Don’t look directly into the sun without glasses” before Aug. 21.  ...

Don’t take statues for granite

Terrible statues of Cristiano Ronaldo and other celebrities not only insult their likeness, but insult every single person that has to witness that kind of visual garbage.

Kiley Borba, Staff Writer

May 15, 2017

A statue was recently unveiled of the professional soccer player – or futbol player to the rest of the world that may be reading – Cristiano Ronaldo, the Real Madrid and Portuguese national team star. The horrific statue now graces the Cristinao Ronaldo International Airport in Madeira, the small...

WW3 is not for me

Draft dodging can be anything from breaking your leg to paying off the government.

Josh Kyser, Staff Writer

May 15, 2017

With the prospect of World War III on the table, the thought of a draft has crossed the minds of many in the U.S. It isn’t an entirely irrational thought, so I’ve compiled a list of 10 easy tips to help you dodge the draft. Tip 1: Get packing. One of the best ways to avoid the draft is to ...

Dallas is quite alarming

Michael Bahk, A&E Editor

May 15, 2017

Remember when there was a fire alarm every hour or so during last year’s finals? Dallas just had a dose of that, except for Dallas, it brought national security into question and had the entire city on lockdown. On April 7, a hacker triggered all 156 emergency alarms in Dallas. The alarms blared...

Quizzes are not real news

BuzzFeed is the culmination of bad journalism, click bait, and of course the quiz to find which Gilmore Girl you are.

Aaron Velasquez, Staff Writer

March 29, 2017

The Internet is a strange, beautiful and vast wonderland. A place of infinite knowledge and one of the crowning achievements of modern civilization.  Then there’s BuzzFeed, a colossal waste of time, energy, resources, and server space. A place where logic and science are thrown to the wind...

Netflix and cheat

By watching a show without your partner you risk both your relationship and your life.

Jenna Lyons, Staff Writer

March 29, 2017

Imagine a world where every Netflix and chill session is built on lies. Betrayed, hurt, jealous. These are just some of the emotions one feels after becoming a victim of the worst dating felony possible: Netflix cheating. You may be wondering: What exactly is Netflix cheating?  It is the act...

The chilling end to Club Penguin

Josh Kyser, Staff Writer

March 29, 2017

I am unable to cope. The loss of  The Club is devastating. I am fully heartbroken and I wonder how I will continue.  So many summers days spent online. The hours my friends spent logged on laughing, dancing and even sledding will surely be missed. I have lost my appetite in the recent weeks. Seeing...

Ganja groupee gimmick

Zachary Fernandez changed the Hollywood sign to pay homage to a previous prank, or maybe he just had high hopes.

Iris Kang, Staff Writer

February 15, 2017

Celebratory lighters and bongs were taken out of the closet when the infamous Hollywood sign went a little skunky green on New Year’s Day. Citizens and tourists of Los Angeles could not believe their eyes when the iconic “Hollywood” sign in Hollywood Hills was changed so that it read “Hollyweed”. The...

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