Assassins is more than just a game; it’s a way of life

Seniors show exact level of maturity that we have all come to expect

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Illustration by Rachel Macias

Whether it’s Nerf bullets or responsibility, Cal high seniors are exceptionally good at dodging anything that comes their way.

As second semester seniors, we have a lot of pressure on us to show the world that we can be successful young adults.

We’re supposed to show responsibility, independence and qualities that would deem us “acceptable” by colleges and “employable” by the work force.

The game of Assassins contradicts all of this.

Never will there be another point in our lives where it is somewhat socially acceptable to wait in a dark corner outside of a buddy’s work and shoot them in the face with a Nerf gun. And get praised for it. Do that in 10 years, I dare you.

I see you, you innocent freshman.

“What’s this Assassins thing?” you just said to yourself. Well, put down that scooter and let me enlighten you, kiddo.

During this “Hunger Games” type guerilla warfare, which began about a month ago, seniors pair up with another willing participant. They are then given targets by the “Godfather” to go and assassinate, while they, themselves, are targets of another duo.

This goes on for multiple rounds, tournament style, until there is only one duo left.

Many of the youngsters who watched their upperclassmen friends play are patiently waiting for their time.

“I’m so excited,” junior and future assassin Sam Vital said. “I can’t wait to play next year!”

This is the mantra of all enthusiastic underclassmen who eagerly await their time to hide in bushes before shooting their unsuspecting friends in the face.

Paranoia is your biggest enemy here. You never know when you may walk out of your front door and get massacred.

You will have no funeral.

You may be wondering where all of these assassins get this information. Believe it or not, your own best friends could be selling your information to them. ESPECIALLY your best friend.

It’s like the Cold War, except the stakes are much higher, obviously.

The novelty of this spirited competition seems everlasting…for about a week. After round one, people just “can’t even” anymore.

“Assassins is a waste of time when you have a life outside of school,” said the assassinated senior Josh Longero.

And that’s just it. There really is only one perfect metaphor for this game.

High school.

That’s right. Amongst friends and peers, you never know who is coming to betray you and take you down. It could be your best friend, could be that weird kid with his middle finger up his nose.

You know who I’m talking about.

Your companions talk behind your back. People end their relationships with their friends with one swift shot. You never really know who you can truly trust.

In every way, shape and form, Assassins is a representation of the social warfare that goes on in high school every day.

Seniors just need to get the rest of it out of their systems before entering the real world.